Wording for a promotion certificate/ceromony

[Wessel Gordon]

My brother turns 40 on the 13 of September and since he's busy studying for his pilot's license I got him an anodized Air Medal plus the golden rank insignia of a four star general. However I would like to add some more fun to the occasion by also presenting him with an certificate of promotion to full general.

The templates I find on the net are incredibly hard to read or proprietors do not react on requests...does anyone have an idea of what kind of wording would be appropriate? Since this is a birthday gift (which is given in a spirit of fun and not funeral formality) and not a real promotion ceremony some quirky phrases or remarks are welcomed. 

For all those thinking this is meant to be serious...it's not. It's just a bit of (hopeful) hilarity between two brothers.

 

 

[dmiller8]

Gold general's stars are usually worn by police chiefs. Military generals wear silver-color stars. The promotion ceremony is performed when the promotion orders are read out to the individual, then the insignia is pinned to the uniform. The format is usually: "The President of the United States, having reposed confidence in the patriotism, valor, fidelity and abilities of (named individual), he/she is hereby promoted to the grade of (rank title). This officer will carefully and diligently discharge the duties of a (rank title), by doing and performing all manner of things thereunto belonging. Given under my hand in the city of Washington, on (date) and of the independence of the United States (200+ years). Signed by the President of the United States."

That is roughly the format that I remember.