Lamest Reason For A War?

[bigjarofwasps]

I wonder what the lamest reasons that Britain has gone to war for in the past are? Anyone got any views on the most pointless campaign in British military history?

[Guest Rick Research]

The "War of Jenkins' Ear" (1739-41) would be a "good" Frontrunner Candidate-- especially for mountains out of molehills unanticipated consequences. I 've always wondered whether the House of Commons still HAS it lying around in a jar someplace, or if he had it buried with him.

Robert Jenkins, master of the "Rebecca" had his aforementioned appendage slit up a treat by Spanish customs who caught him trespassing in South American waters. He brought it in (a rather considerable length of time afterwards as I recall) and flapped it around in front of Parliament, which declared war at this "outrage."

Of course, this was just a ridiculous EXCUSE to intrude into Spain's private colonial trade-- something Britain refused to allow with its OWN colonies, tut tut. But for the sporadic vigilance of the Iberian tariff authorities, one of my own naughty Connecticut maritime ancestors might have been immortalized in Jenkin's place.

Jenkin's Ear sparked the War of the Austrian Succession which rolled neatly into the Seven Years War aka French & Indian War (III) over here which led (oh, those pesky taxation and customs and excise rules AGAIN) to the severing of political connection between America and Britain, which led to the French Revolution (over war debt for the Americas) and detachable entire-heads, which led to the Russian Revolution, World War 2, nuclear weapons, Neil Armstrong hopscotching on the moon, China steadily marching over and down the Himalayas and who knoweth whither NEXT....

Somebody has GOT to know where that All Important Detachable EAR ended up!!!!

[leigh kitchen]

The very "War" I immediately thought of - Jenkins was a Jewish merchant I think, & with dubious claim to British nationality, but then I suppose if you want to start a war or need an athlete or two for the Olympics in a hurry then British nationality can come free of charge & at one heck of a speed.

Don't know where Jenkins ear ended up, but somebody elses testicles used to sit in a jar on a desk at a police station in Peterborough.

Maybe just kept on standby in case we needed to start another punch up somewhere?

Edited May 11, 2008 by leigh kitchen

[bigjarofwasps]

Poor old Jenkins, yeh think that`ll take some licking ho,ho,ho. Cheers Guys.

[leigh kitchen]

In fact, he was Portugese?

[Eric Stahlhut]

the "pig war" between the british royal navy and the american army!

it happened on san juan island (wa) in the summer of 1859 after an american settler shot a british pig.

the 'war' lasted 12 years and ended with the spectacular san juan islands being ceded to the u.s. by a mediator: Kaiser Wilhelm.

yippee!

the only casualty was the pig... :rolleyes:

Edited October 10, 2008 by Eric Stahlhut