Why Nazi Germany Lost The War

[Guest Rick Research]

No, it wasn't the Norden bombsight.

No, it wasn't radar.

It was this tiny little device:

[Guest Rick Research]

How's that? quoth youze?

Prithy, draw nigh and be enlightened...

It is circa 1943. The war goes badly. very badly. Industry has been flensed of skilled labor changed into long wasted cannon fodder. Unskilled, untrained workers must--somehow--keep the once mighty Wehrmacht going.

Solutions, obviously, are simple:

Save metal, save skilled labor.

Hence

The Total War Prag Spange!

It is light, being hollow stamped rather than solid.

No more fussy bent wires requiring a touch of solder to attach.

Children, geriatrics, cripples, illiterate slave laborers can do THIS!

Uh, labor SAVING, was it?

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay then! Instead of simply pushing the prongs of Solid Prague Spange "Old Model" through the neat, easily located center of a ribbon by touch over the matching hole in a metal ribbon bar backing plate (blue dot)

nowwwwwwwwwww

two SLITS (white lines) have to be CUT ACROSS the woven ribbon, weakening it, in order to stab lower blunt prong (red) and upper blunt prong (green) through the ripped ribbon and then fold the prongs UNDER the ribbon ON TOP of the backing.

Never mind that this weak and deficient method had already proven worthless in 1916/17. Try again and the result will be different in 1943/44!

And of course, if the illiterate, unskilled, untrained worker fails to EXACTLY align BOTH CUTS, then THIS does not result:

Not PRECISELY aligned and...

crooked device, lessening morale

or

ruined ribbon, now discarded and a total waste of war production!

Meanwhile

improperly jabbed cuts cause the dust-weight Prague bars to SPRING out of those clumsy clods' hands, bouncing onto floors, into cracks and crevices and dark corners

where valuable shift time is now additionally lost in the attempt to recover the wretched little objects.

Or they are left where lost--plenty more! Keep on working! All that metal "saved" is now... wasted someplace underfoot.

Jet aircraft production, Herr Reichsminister?

Alas, we keep having to re-manufacture Prague bars.

Jawohl, Herr Generaloberst! We regret that we cannot supply overcoats due to contract-obligated replacement of

thousands and thousands and thousands of meters of Sudeten Medal ribbon.

No, we can't imagine where it is all going, either.

Cartridge production is down due to an unexpected lack of brass, Herr Reichsleiter.

For want of a nail, a shoe is lost.

For want of a shoe, a horse is lost.

For want of a horse....

Ribbon bars:

the central driving force behind global events in the 20th Century. You learn new things every day!

to Peter J!!!

[Guest Rick Research]

Christmas week, 1941, and the invincible Wehrmacht halts in confusion at the gates of Moscow because its leading generals in the field cannot replace Prague Bars, Old Model:

http://gmic.co.uk/index.php?automodule=gal...=si&img=690

That was the beginning of the end.

It always comes down to ribbon bars.

[Peter J]

Rick, your way with words is just...... well, I can't find the words

cheers

Peter

[Paul R]

Rick,

Can I have some of what you have been smoking?

[David S]

And I thought it had to do with Stogie's avatar and signature line.

[webr55]

!!!